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End of the World jokes

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Joined: Jan 01, 1970
Posts: 448
Location: USA
PostPost subject: End of the World jokes
Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2017 6:53 am

1-24-17 Once people realize that my prediction is for real and is confirmed by objective evidence and tests, they lock up and try the Big Ignore. You all seem to overlook that I say "it can be prevented". All I can do is try and say it better.

Good God people, it is only the end of the world when you don't publicly cooperate to prevent it. So I can get mad at your denial or laugh at human nature. So lets have a laugh together while you choose whether or not we all die at the same time. Either way, I keep doing my best, so for me now, it is always a good day to die.

"Two men were watching sports in a bar together when the show was interrupted by an emergency broadcast. A 15 mile wide asteroid was going to hit Earth in one week and kill everyone. Nothing could stop it so prepare to die. In shock they looked at each other. Finally one said to his friend, "What are you going to do?"; his friend replied, "I am going to go and screw anything that moves. What are you going to do?" A pause then his friend replied, "Not move.".

"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia."

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The End of the World

When the end of the world arrives how will the media report it?

USA Today: We're dead

The Wall Street Journal: Dow Jones plummets as world ends

National Enquirer: O.J. and Nicole, together again

Playboy: Girls of the apocalypse

Microsoft Systems Journal: Apple loses market share

Victoria's Secret Catalog: Our final sale

Sports Illustrated: Game over!

Wired: The last new thing!

Rolling Stone: The Grateful Dead reunion tour

Readers Digest: 'Bye!

Discover Magazine: How will the extinction of all life as we know it affect the way we view the cosmos?

TV Guide: Death and damnation: Nielson Ratings soar!

Lady's Home Journal: Lose 10 lbs by judgement day with our new "Armageddon" Diet!

America Online: System temporarily down. Try calling back in 15 minutes.

Inc. Magazine: Ten ways you can profit from the apocalypse!

Understanding Men
Home Paul Kavanagh / My Phrontistery / End of the World / End of the World Jokes
End of the World Jokes

End of the world Jokes:

On a road through a desert in Arizona, a preacher named Nathaniel Evans walked every day, preaching to the many people who roared past in their cars.
"Repent, the End of the World is Nigh!" was his constant theme.
One day, as he was walking, he came to a big lever in the middle of nowhere, just by the side of the road. 'Pull this to end the world' said the sign on it.
Now Nathaniel saw this as the perfect spot for him to preach, and soon many automobiles were parked nearby, the people all swayed by his powerful elocution.
All was well, until there were so many people, and so many cars, that the road was nearly blocked. Then a big 18-wheel rig came down the highway, and couldn't stop in time. The driver had a choice: run over Nathaniel, or run over the Lever.
As the driver explained to the Highway Patrol later, he actually had no choice. Pointing to the red smear on the road that used to be Nathaniel Evans, he said "Better Nate than Lever."

"I swear to speak honestly and seek the truth when I use the No 1st Cost List public record."

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